I know I don’t stand a family man’s chance in a war movie. I know when I submitted, I was all “well, at least they’ll reject me quickly”. I know that I should just let it rest and do something student-ey, like binge watch series or Facebook stalk my classmates.
(Or my 30-day-no-sleep novella. See previous posts.)
And yet, here I am, playing the ‘refresh’ game. Clickety clickety click.
After I had filled in all the online forms and uploaded everything in the correct position, I was pleased to discover there was a ‘queue’ system.
“How excellent,” Past Me thought. “What a clever thing this is.”
How very wrong you were, Past Me.
I started out 45th in the slush pile queue. I subedited some third year articles for Artbeat and when I looked again, I was 29th.
“Oh God,” Past Me thought. “That was really quick. What just happened?”
“What time is it in America? Did they just wake up?”
“Will this now create a landslide?”
I shared this news with my mother, who told me to stop being obsessive. Fair enough. I will be obsessive more quietly. Refresh the screen. 28. Refresh the screen. 27. Refresh the screen. 24? Sorry to 25 and 26. I presume you wrote about zombies.
And then there was 23.
I don’t think I have ever hated a number so much. It did not change. For hours and hours and hours. I was like a heroin addict craving a fix. Moving numbers were my drug of choice. This will sound like genuine insanity to 90% of the population, but I am not alone in my craziness. There are whole forum posts dedicated to people like this, with titles to the effect of: “Am I nuts for checking this page every 30 seconds?”
I went to a House Committee meeting, watched Maties lose a hockey game on the antique residence television and returned to my room.
I took a shower.
Read some stupid Buzzfeed posts.
Cranked out more novella.
That is where I am at. That is also, apparently, where I will stay. 14 stands to be the new 23.
I will update this post once something happens. Or possibly not. Because alcohol will probably be necessary.
Clickety clickety click.